


A Moment's Peace

by bigwolfpup



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of Character Death, obikin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigwolfpup/pseuds/bigwolfpup
Summary: Vader suffers from visions in the night still, constantly haunted by what he had done in the past and what he still needed to do.





	A Moment's Peace

Vader didn’t sleep. At least, not like he used to. He floated in his bacta tank all night and maybe caught a few winks of sleep when he was exhausted enough. He was more man than machine after all. He didn’t really need sleep unless, of course, he was exhausted, which tended to be quite often, but Vader hardly let his weakness show, especially around the emperor. Besides, the old emperor never really let him have a break anyways. Vader was always doing something for Palpatine, whether it was scouting out a new planet to take over or to just slaughter hundreds of lives. Vader had very little time to himself during the day, so nights were a blessing. Or in most cases, a curse.

Visions haunted Vader night after night of his wife, of his best friend, of his former padawan from his Jedi days. Such visions were not true of course, so perhaps they were more like dreams, but he was hardly every asleep when they came around, so he labeled them as visions. They were never pleasant to him. They always reminded him of how he messed up, how he ruined the galaxy for billions of lives. Every night he was reminded of his actions, and he would always be left even more exhausted after the visions were over. It seemed like he never got a break from his wrongs.

This one particular night left him perhaps the most exhausted he had ever felt. All he wanted to do was curl up in a soft bed and sleep for days. He couldn’t ever do this, no matter how much he wanted to. If he truly wanted to, he’d have to curl up in his suit, and he’d be forced to stay awake just so he could stay alive. So, as he stripped off parts of his suit with his cybernetic arms in preparation for the night, he felt a heavier weight settle upon him. His emotions overbearing compared to the layers that made up his suit. He would have cried if he hadn't lost the ability to do so. He stepped too far into the darkness, and it had stripped him of everything he once took for granted; the ability to cry, to smile, or even to let loose a genuine laugh. He was detached from his emotions, other than anger. Vader was trained like a dog to respond to anger, and he hated it. That only brought more anger. Anger was all his life was about anymore. He was either angry or not, there was no in between.

Thankfully this was one of those moments where he didn’t feel anything. Vader simply was going through the motions he went through every night. When he was stripped down to just his breathing apparatus and undergarments, he let himself be detached from his cybernetic limbs and be inserted into his bacta tank. The physical weight of carrying the suit around was taken away from his weary body, and he floated almost weightless as he finally relaxed.

Vader took in his surroundings with his own eyes, as he did every night before he rested them in hopes of sleeping. It was the same thing he saw every night; obsidian walls that gleamed in the light produced by the tank he resided in. Never anything new, but at least that was something he could rely on.

Slowly, Vader’s eyes shut, and for once, he was granted with sleep. His exhausted body could take no more alertness, and he relaxed even further into a deep, well needed sleep.

At first there was darkness, no dreams, no visions, just floating in darkness, a sense of ease flowing over Vader’s body. The there was a warmness that filled him. Maybe it was someone adjusting the temperature of the bacta tank to keep him warm in the vastness of space, but the warmth brought him into a dream.

Warm sunshine was at his back as he stood in an open field. In the distance, mountains stood tall, and there was the fair sound of waterfalls. For as far as he knew, this was Naboo. It was a welcome sight, and he felt, actually felt, happy, an emotion he wasn’t able to feel in a very long time. Vader sighed, reaching up to run his hands through his hair. Here he wasn’t Vader. He was Anakin here, and here he could be himself.

A whisper on the breeze caught his attention. It was soft at first, his name being called, and then it evolved into a familiar voice, the voice of his best friend, Obi-Wan. Anakin looked around, trying to find the source of the voice, yet he could not find Obi-Wan. Maybe this was some sort of punishment for him, the Force making him search for his old friend but never finding him because he himself was lost still. Feeling disappointed, Anakin gave up on searching, falling to the ground and feeling there was no reason to search for someone that wasn’t there. Obi-Wan was dead, Vader killing him in cold blood.

And then, as if the Force knew Anakin’s pain, Obi-Wan was there in front of the blond, kneeling with a sad smile and a hand reaching out to touch Anakin’s cheek.

Anakin’s eyes widened as he looked up at his friend, however his clear vision didn’t last long, as soon tears took over as he threw himself at his old friend, sobbing openly at all the terrible things he had done. Neither one spoke, just holding each other as emotions poured into the Force willingly. Every wrong thing Anakin had done, pre or post fall of the Jedi, weighed heavily on the blond, causing him to sob harder. All he wanted was freedom. He wanted death. Nothing he did in life was going to fix what he had done in the past, and to him it wasn’t worth it to fix any of his problems anyways. Nothing was worth it any more.

Anakin gripped Obi-Wan’s tunics tightly, remembering that Obi-Wan had been more than a friend to him. That redhead had been so very close, and even if this was just a dream, it felt real enough to Anakin that he pulled back to look at Obi-Wan with teary eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” he croaked out, his normal voice coming out of his healed body rather than the menacing tone he commanded the galaxy with. “I never wanted any of this. I just wanted you safe…”

“It’s all over now, Anakin,” Obi-Wan responded softly. “What’s in the past cannot be changed. It’s what the future holds that’s important now.”

“I don’t want a future,” Anakin said as more tears flowed down his face. “I want to die. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to be with you again. I want to feel happy. I want to throw the emperor aside and never look back.”

“The you must rise up. I know you are strong, Ani, and you have the ability to overthrow him. I know you want to pass on like I did, but if you do now, the galaxy will be left in chaos that cannot be reversed.”

“I don’t care,” Anakin wailed. “I want you back. I want you alive, I want to love you again!”

“Ani…” Obi-Wan leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the younger man’s forehead. “I know it’s tough. Life isn’t mean to be easy. That’s why you must be strong. If anything, be strong for me. Know I’m always waiting for you on the other side when it is your time to join me.”

Anakin shuddered as he started crying again. “I don’t want this life,” he sobbed.

“I know, but you have to make do with what you have. I know that this isn’t your fault. The council never listened to you and what you needed. You were pushed too hard too quickly, and it ended badly, especially when the emperor got involved.” Obi-Wan reached forward to cup Anakin’s tear-soaked face in his hands. “But you are still powerful. You can still fix things, though they look very bad at the moment. I believe in you. I always have.”

“Why did you let me kill you,” Anakin whispered, remembering the very day he had slain Obi-Wan on the cold floors of the Jedi temple. It had been bloody, lightsabers cast aside when extreme anger took over in the form of Vader and reached for the nearest sharp object, shoving it deep into Obi-Wan’s chest.

Saddened by the sight, Obi-Wan pulled Anakin into a full hug. “Ani, you didn’t kill me. Vader did, and you know that.”

“But I am Vader…”

“No you’re not. You are Anakin, the man whom I love dearly and whom I watched be taken over by Vader. When I looked into your eyes that very last time, I knew I was looking into the eyes of Vader, not my Anakin.”

“I was there, Obi-Wan… I watched myself kill you. I watched as I killed so many Jedi. I’ve killed so many people…” Anakin covered his face, too ashamed of what he had done to even look at his old love any more.

“You must stop this, Anakin. There is still good in you, I know it. You have to endure the pain just a little longer.”

Anakin’s surroundings began to fade to black, colors swirling around him as he looked back at Obi-Wan with a fearful expression. “No, Obi, don’t leave me! I can’t go back.”

“You know what you need to do. Be strong, Anakin.”

“No!” Anakin reached out, but his hands met nothing but air, swiping right through the image of Obi-Wan and leaving him feeling more terrified than he ever had before. “I won’t lose you again! Come back!”

His screaming was no use. Obi-Wan was fading away, just like the pleasant surroundings he had been comforted by. Everything was fading faster than he would have liked, and then he felt like he was falling into a pitch black abyss, his arms and legs flailing as they too faded away, and soon his breathing became heavier, more difficult to take air in, as if he was hooked up to a machine that breathed for him. He felt his freedom be stripped away from his body, and then with a start ⸺

Vader shouted as he woke up, pulling against the cables holding him in place in his bacta tank. His chest heaved as he struggled to breathe. He was once again back in reality, and his dream had left him more exhausted than when he had fallen asleep. There was a faint voice calling his name. Looking forward, he saw the emperor, the one who had called his name, had called him back to reality. Changing his expression, Vader waited for himself to be lifted out of the tank and put back into his suit.

Obi-Wan had been right in saying that Anakin knew what to do, but Vader was still in the way, and it was near impossible to move him aside to let Anakin do what the galaxy needed.


End file.
